a dozen replays
Office Princess

Notes on the 2004 Stumptown Christmas Parade

-Residents are encouraged to line both sides of Main Street with lawn chairs beginning at nightfall. Parade participants gathered in formation in the Big Lots parking lot will march westward along Main Street to the echoing racket of snare drums, up to Lake Drive, where the parade route makes a turn south down the side of Stump Park. Please note that this is the opposite directionı of your eastbound high school Homecoming Parade. The crowd will disintegrate when it reaches the park as small baton twirlers in silver boots, elves, ROTC troops and jump-rope-for-lifers scatter and make for the playground. Vendors of glowsticks, cotton candy and flashing snowball santa hats will materialize on site. The awards ceremony and the official tree lighting will follow shortly after the arrival of Santa Claus.

-The parade will step off at 6:30pm from the east edge of Main Street, led by creeping police department vehicles with sirens at full volume.

-Two convertible Thunderbirds transporting the Mayor and District Representatives will lead the parade, followed by 4 fully loaded Mustangs, courtesy of Daryl Victor Ford. Make some noise to catch a set of "Mardi Gras" style beads from your elected officials.

-The "Red, White & Blue Christmas" float by Masonic Lodge #399 shall be followed by a customized Hummer bearing the slogan of local nightclub Crazy Horse Saloon, “Music, Wine, and Fine Tail.” Both will be tossing individually wrapped candies to spectators. Ladies along the parade route are permitted to clatter up to the driver's window, shouting, “I need a job!” All interested parties must submit an official application in person at the club location on Highway 54.

-The crowd will thrill to the percussive stylings of the now all African-American “Pride of Stumptown” drum corps. With brief scheduled stops to break it down in front of Parker's Cleaners, What A Cut Salon, and Caribbean Kitchen, the Couger drum core will delight onlookers with their colorful urban moves. Truly the evening’s highlight, spectators often thrust and bounce along with the beat.

-Two renegade skateboarders will join the parade around Ash Street and trail the Georgia Academy for Performing Arts team of Neon Majorettes for the duration of the parade.

-In the event of mud puddles collected in the well-worn footprints beneath each swing, at the base of the steel slide, and the entire length of the monkey bars, young girls will be asked to tote eachother's pocketbooks while each takes her turn swinging, climbing, etc. These girls locate eachother via cell phone and compare collections of beads obtained by “flashing” the mayor.

-The City Council choir in holiday sweats, accompanied by a Casio keyboard, will lead the crowd in a round of ecumenical carols. “Here Comes Santa Claus” begins as the bearded one arrives with his ROTC colorguard escort. It may seem like he should deliver an opening statement at the finish of this song, but not really. We'll sing Rudolf one more time, until the mayor comes up to thank some people and remind us that Jesus is the reason for the season.
-In case a child becomes separated from his parents, he will be presented on stage and announced to the crowd as “Burdell Sanchez, lost child.” Moments later, a spanish-speaking MC will repeat the announcement, calling for the padre of a “Fidel Sanchez.”

-Brother Devon Murphy will open the ceremonies with a prayer crying out in the strong name of Jesus Christ, Abba Father and the thirst-quenching, life giving Holy Spirit that He would pour out his blessing on our city. Small clusters of African-Americans will bow to pray. White folks, including city council members will cringe and peer out from underneath Santa hats. Oblivious Mexican children will get in a sandfight on the volleyball court.

-Occasional out-of-place old dudes reeking of alcohol will cling to one of the following: a camera, chainlink fence, dog on a leash. Streaking away from their mothers, children approach each dog with a hopeful "Do he bite?"

-The Silver Spurs clogging team will end the evening with a performance of their "Christmas Around the World" routine as Councilwoman Waldrop holds a mike up to their boombox. This year's presentation features costumed cloggers representing the nations of France, Australia, Vietnam, USA, Mexico, Jamaica and Hawaii.

Comments

cheryl vernon

hi i was wondering where is stumptown ga ???? please respond looking to see the christmas parade
thanks vernon128@bellsouth.net

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